I am sad today.
I have no baby. I have no child to love.
Sometimes the emptiness in my arms is too heavy for me to bear.
Will it ever happen for me? I am too afraid to even ask that question out loud, but believe me, the question is always there -- like an uninvited guest or a rude usurper of my heart.
As I told you before, I often think of songs I want to sing to my child when he or she comes along. Here is another one, dear and close to me, by Sinéad O'Connor (if I play it I end up in a puddle of tears; but you can hear it here):
My darling child
My darling baby
My darling child
You gave life to me
My darling child
My darling baby
My darling child
You came and saved me
My darling child
My darling baby
My darling child
God gave you to me
Me little ninja
My little dancer
Me little streetfighter
Me little chancer
Me lovely boy
Me lovely babby
My pride and joy
Me little puppy
Me little wolf
Me little lamby
My favourite boy
My angel babby
Me little ninja
Me little dancer
Me little streetfighter
Me little chancer
Me love me boy
Me love me babby
My pride and joy
Me little puppy
- Sinéad O'Connor
I want to believe I will sing this song someday.
But today, I am finding that belief and faith belong to someone else - certainly not to me.
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4 comments:
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, and I hope the sadness lifts soon...I can feel it. It's palpable. Hang in there.
Beautiful song. I really hope you get to sing it to your child one day. I feel your sadness and I'm so sorry.
Such a beautiful song. Hold on to that dream. I am sorry you have been feeling down, thinking of you.
That is a beautiful, cool song. Thanks for posting. You will be such a great mother--I can't wait for it to happen for you.
GM
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